May 18 – Ten Year Trap
Last night, something powerful happened.
I woke up around midnight and found myself soaked in sweat. But instead of fear or discomfort, I felt something completely different. I felt relief. I felt pride. I felt a quiet voice inside me whisper:
“It has begun.”
That sweat wasn’t ordinary. It wasn’t the kind that comes from heat or nightmares. It was a purge. A signal. A release. My body was flushing out the past. The toxins, the memories, the weight of all those smoky nights—it was leaving me. And I welcomed it like rain after a long drought.
✨ Light. Strong. Clear.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt lighter than I’ve felt in years. Not dizzy. Not weighed down. I moved through my day with a strength and smoothness I almost forgot was possible.
Because when I used to smoke, it would slam me to the ground. I’d wake up foggy, ashamed, looking at my face in the mirror and wondering, “Why did I do it again?”
Every step at work felt like I was dragging a tired soul through concrete.
But on Day Two, I moved with clarity. I felt like a machine resetting itself. Like my system was rebooting — and it was working.
💧 Detox in a Cup
I prepared something special for myself:
2 liters of healing detox water — ginger, lemon, cucumber, parsley, mint, apple cider vinegar, and a little honey. I boiled it, sealed it in a thermos, and drank it throughout the day. 3 to 4 glasses in the morning, then sips as I worked.
It wasn’t just for hydration — it felt sacred. A kind of self-made medicine for my soul. Something I created to support my body on this road back to the real me.
😔 The Shadows That Remain
But not everything was light.
I only slept for one hour the night before — and not because I wasn’t tired. I was exhausted. But my mind was restless, my body tense, and sleep just wouldn’t come. When it finally did, it was short and unsatisfying. My sleep quality? 3 out of 10.
And it showed.
I was irritable, snapping at my partner and my sibling over small things. I recognized the anger — it wasn’t really about them. It was the withdrawal. My system letting go of a substance it relied on, and in that space, all the buried emotions started rising.
My throat also began clearing — I started coughing up mucus, like my lungs were beginning to unclog themselves. Another quiet sign of the detox working.
🎯 One Day Stronger
Day Two was not easy. It was sweaty, raw, and messy. But it was also real.
It reminded me that healing is not just about peace — it’s also about the body breaking, burning, and rebuilding.
I didn’t smoke.
I didn’t crave.
I showed up, faced the discomfort, and let the process move through me.
And that is a victory.
